It is hard for me or for anybody to say with any real preciseness what it is that makes a man or a woman fall in love with another man or woman, of course we can always mention what first attracted us to that person but what made us become enamored? The first attraction part perhaps coming in the way of the person’s looks, personality or even way of dressing. I for instance was once, many years ago had my eye caught by a young lady’s hat which lead to a drink and what is commonly referred to as a “one night stand” between us. With regards to this young lady who held few other attributes other then a nice hat and large mammary glands, we would go on to meet on other occasions but never to repeat our night, not that this was something either of us regretted in anyway. Needless to say this first encounter did not produce love toward the other from either side yet I ask what is it that makes a person fall in love with one person and not another.
I have come to believe in my many years that the reasons people fall in love can be compared to the reasons people like one food and not another. For instance, a man or a woman can know a person who he or she admits is attractive, intelligent, charming, rich, cultivated and even friendly yet not be in love with that person which is a similar case with foods. This being that one can recognize that a particular food is high in protein, minerals, vitamins while being low in both calories and cholesterol; which would make it healthy but not necessarily tasty to a person’s whose taste buds which simply do not accept it as such. Some might even ask why somebody is not in love with such a person or does not like such a nutritious food and yet is there an answer other then one simply is not? Of course arguments will come to mind, such as he or she is rich, beautiful, intelligent, educated, nice to you, is in love with you and posses all the qualities which for the most part are admired by most and yet despite this we do not love that person, for admiration and love are not the same thing. Many times, in fact more often then not people love foods that are anything but healthy, which perhaps might not be the wisest thing but the fact remains. Like with foods, we might even fall in love with somebody who not only does not posses any of the above mentioned qualities which we do not even fool ourselves that they do and yet we are in love with them just the same, in a way we almost can not control anymore then we can explain.
Of course sometimes in life, we have to eat things we do not like or do things we do not like and a person for different reasons might be obliged to eat such a food but it would hardly be enjoyment of its flavor. This too can be the case with love that sometimes, a man or woman may go as far as to take to the ways of marriage; as this is an institution which can come about via many roads, such as business or so many others which have so little to do with love.
I remember once, many years ago I was asked by a friend of mine why I had a fallen in love with a Polish girl by the name of Anna, as in fact I did not find her overly beautiful in comparison to some of the other women I had dated and yet in all honesty I could not give a reason that elevated her to being so high in my esteem; as to place her above all the rest, who also possessed similar qualities. I could even go further that with her contrary to many; ours did not reach full intercourse; her being one who preferred to save her virginity for the night of matrimony yet mine was to fall in love.
In conclusion I have come to believe that in fact it is not the person we fall in love with or the qualities or lack of which in the person but the way we perceive them in our gratitude that creates us to be in love; for can we honestly say that any of the things we see in that person, we can not find in another, with whom we have not fallen in love with? All of which creating me to put my faith in the concept that just as our palates are made to savor certain flavors, so too our sentiments of love are created to fall for certain individuals. For it is something in them that we react to in a way we do for no other. Sometimes this going to the extreme that we want and need that certain someone; who like sweets is even bad for us yet it is what we can not help, as I feel is the case of a lovely woman who has told me she feels in such a way about me, in what I consider to be very poor taste in men. This also the situation I find myself in, as my sentiments echo hers in what makes my taste more elevated in ladies then hers in men. -Gianni Truvianni
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