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Tuesday, May 12

Miscommunication - Root Cause of Problems?

People of two opposing ideas can stir up arguments
and fights. It's that situation when one thinks
he has the right concept while the other one also
believes he has the proper notion. Both of them
would try to outsmart each other until one claims
victory.

Here's an actual example.

My spouse would sometimes buy me signature
clothing. When my Mom founds out how much it costs,
she would advise us to budget our money and just buy
the affordable ones.

A problem occurs when my spouse thinks that her effort
to give me the best was unappreciated. Mom, on
the other hand, would think that my spouse is such
a spender.

There's a conflict with their beliefs. No two
people are exactly alike. We are totally unique;
not only physically, but mentally and emotionally
as well.

There will be many times when your opinion will not
correspond with that of another. So how can people
prevent this kind of conflict from occurring?

Communication is the key to overcome doubts and
misunderstandings.

You should let other people know what's in your mind.
Don't keep them guessing.

There was a story about two couples who were filing
a divorce. After the lawyer have spoken to them
both, he found out that the root cause of all their
problems was due to miscommunication.

Here's one of the couple's problems.

The man filing the divorce said that he just hated
the breakfast meal that his wife often prepared for
him. On the other hand, the wife said that she's
only preparing the meal because she thought it was
her husband's favorite. But she never liked cooking
it because it's very difficult to prepare.

See? If only one of them took the initiative to
speak out what's in his or her mind, then that
particular dilemma would be over.

Now why would people prefer to keep their complaints
and criticisms to themselves? What's holding them
back?

It's because they do not want to be rejected. Most,
people, if not all, would like to be accepted and to
be perceived as likeable in the eyes of others.

So can you get your message across without hurting
their feelings?

Substitute negative statements with positive ones.

Instead of saying "You don't understand," say "Let
me explain." Instead of remarking "You're wrong,"
say "Permit me to clarify." Instead of stating
"You failed to say," just mention "Perhaps this was
not stated."

There are certain words that affect a person more
negatively in comparison with other words that have
the same meaning.

Nothing could be more pleasing to the ear than
hearing someone else say that you are right. In
this case, be prepared to let other people know that
you respect their opinions. You may add your comments
at the end, but acknowledge them first.

Say:
You're right, although ...
Great suggestion, however ...
I agree with your opinion, however ...
I would feel the same way if I were you, although ...
I understand your situation, however ...

Reassure your counterparts that the decision made will
benefit both parties. People need to feel that they
have made the right choice.

Communication is a gift. Use it wisely for everyone's
advantage. -Friedrich Asen

1 comment:

  1. Good blog post. We found that many arguments can be avoided. There is a wonderful book with a strange title that has helped us and many other couples see that many disputes are just male/female misunderstandings of the underlying fears.

    I highly recommend the title: "How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking about it".

    I'd love to know what you think of it.

    ReplyDelete

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