How Much Do You Want to Change?

There are many places in which one can seek assistance to change, once you have made a commitment to yourself to make that change. No-one could help very much in the earlier stages of the process of change; that of making up your mind. Only you can make your decisions; no-one else can make your decisions for you, although it is often tempting to imagine that they could.

You often hear people say that another person controls them, and this may very well be the case, but they are only being controlled because they allow themselves to be controlled in this way. They have decided to let someone else control them, for whatever reason. They have chosen, either consciously or subconsciously, to give their own power to somebody else.

Human beings can give their power to someone else for a variety of reasons. It is frequently the case that one will seek another's assistance when trying to make a difficult decision. They simply do not want to have to make that decision themselves. A wise assistant will not be drawn into the trap of attempting to make that decision for you. Rather, they will ask questions to help you to explore your own feelings more fully and will try to help you to see every opportunity available to you.

Everyone knows of someone who got drawn into an argument between a couple and was later accused of taking sides. Similarly we all know of someone who did take sides when a couple split up, only to be persona non gratis when they got back together again. The fact is that even if you meant well when trying to help someone else to make a decision, they could very well end up blaming you for their decision. They do not set out with that intention, but it is a likely conclusion.

It can be very tempting as well to help someone to do something. To lend a helping hand makes you feel good. But there are many times when to help in this way does not help the other person in the long term. Every parent experiences this conundrum as they have to bite their tongue, step back and allow their children to learn through making their own mistakes. You cannot make someone else do something; you cannot make someone else succeed.

More often than not the best help you can give someone is to let them decide if they want to succeed or if they want to change. It can be hard to take that step back, to not lend that helping hand, particularly when you are being asked for help, and more so if it is a person whom you care for dearly. What you can do is ask questions designed to get that person to see things from every angle and therefore help them get into a position whereby they can make an informed choice about what they want to do. Another thing which you can do is to do what you can to help build that persons confidence and self belief as this is providing a solid foundation upon which to make good choices.

Every hypnotherapist will tell you that a large number of their clients knock upon their door in the hope that you can make their decisions for them or make their changes for them. A hypnotherapist, or any other therapist for that matter, cannot do this, and would not attempt to do so. Rather, your hypnotherapist will help you to think about things in a more positive way and ultimately feel that you can do whatever it is that you want to do.

A hypnotherapist can help you to relax and to access the sometimes hidden powers of our subconscious mind. When in hypnosis you have access to your subconscious mind, and this state of mind is naturally conducive to conflict resolution. Bear in mind, if you think you want to do something, but haven't yet gotten around to doing it, this is a clear indication of some type of conflict. Your subconscious mind is also the more creative part of your mind and so you can more easily see different options and more vividly imagine different outcomes.

Hypnosis is very helpful indeed when you are in the process of considering change. You can even learn to use hypnosis at home with the help of a hypnosis download. It is easy and completely natural.

It is always worth bearing in mind that what somebody does speaks more loudly than what somebody says. To make a decision and take no accompanying action merely points to the fact that there was really no decision made at all. A true decision is always accompanied by appropriate action. -Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis mp3s for change and well-being

Don't Let People Take You For A Ride

The death of a family member is always the cruellest of all misfortunes. It becomes more cruel when the person snatched away is the husband of a young woman. The picture couln't be more sordid if the deceased leaves behind young issues. Whatever the circumstances they are always unfortunate.

Even in the present changed scenario, parent having got their daughter married off, wash their hand of her. Apart from the customary visits to the parents' house, if she is going through a rough matrimonial patch her parents rarely counsel a girl. They consider it unwise to interfere in the other's family even when their own daughter is married into that family. It is largely due to this lack of support from the parents that a girl starts to compromise beyond the limits of decency.

Kelly has something to say about it. They are two daughters-in-law in the family. Before her brother-in-law's marriage she was the pampered one. Everyone showered love and respect on her. Things changed tremendously after her brother-in-law's marriage. His wife belonged to a local family and was regularly frequented by her family members at her in-laws' place. Gifts on various occasions followed. Eventually, comparisons between the two daughters-in-law were made. There was no support to Kelly from her parents. They rarely visited and definitely gifts were never changing hands. With the passage of time, the situation worsened. She is ignored by her in-laws. Low in esteem and confidence, she is doing nothing but compromising.

Such treatment was rendered to a woman who has her husband beside her. Imagine the treatment rendered to women who have lost their husbands. Will those women get their share of love, respect, share in property, roof over their and their children's heads? The answer is very believable and real "no."

A LIVING TESTIMONY

Heather, one of my aunts, is a living testimony to such treatment by in-laws. She was widowed at a young age, in an unfriendly environment and with two young kids! Her late husband's family made her sign a number of legal papers. She didn't even know what they were. Vulnerable as she was under the circumstances, she did what she was told to do. By the time she understood what was going on, it was too late. Her mother was dead and her father refused to support her in opposing the in-laws. The poor woman succumbed to the circumstances. She does regret it though. She says, "My kids had to struggle so much in life just because I let myself be robbed by the in-laws. Their father left so much for them. I just wish I was stronger at that time."

How true! Had she been more in control of her loss and grief, things wouldn't have been tough for her and her children. Her being alone was the prime reason for this fate. Had she got Some support from her father, she could have voiced her doubts to her in-laws. Girls at their parents' house are raised in a protective, pampered environment. They are not taught to fight their battles alone. As a result of this they don't know what to do if an adverse situation arises.

After 24 years another tragedy has taken place in my family. Another aunt is widowed. Uncle died in a road accident. They have two teenage sons. The kids are neither too young to be ignorant about what happened nor big enough to shoulder all the responsibilities without some help and guidance. All through the last rites of uncle, my aunt's brother and sister-in-law stayed with her. Even when all the ceremonies were over, they stayed back to settle things with her in-laws. They were there for more than a week to lend support to his sister. There are a number of things mostly unpleasant - that a girl hides from her parents but under such circumstances all the facts come out in the open, so somebody has to be there for her.

HOLD YOURSELF TOGETHER

No matter how tough the grief is, a woman should hold herself together for her sake and for the sake of her children. It could be very unpleasant and inhuman to put yourself in a situation like this just when your life partner has left you. But the fact remains - strike while the iron is hot. It's a now or never situation for you. The woman is vulnerable and drowned in sorrow, that's when the in-laws make their first move. In good faith, she does whatever is asked of her and becomes duped. She and her children are cheated out of their share of income, property and other assets.

In our society, love and care are given to a woman and her children largely because of her husband. History and many day-today examples are proof of this. If no concern is shown to a woman by her in-laws, it is only because she is their son's wife. There is hardly any individual relationship involved here. So, once their son is not alive any longer, they find no reason to be fair and reasonable to his wife. Even when the in-laws are loving and caring types, the equation changes drastically after their son's demise. His family is more of a burden than a responsibility. Truth is often bitter but that's how it is.

A woman should do the following in case of such a mishap.

Gather her own family members:
Numbers do make a difference. They are intimidating if nothing more. Under pressure, people often budge. It is easier to talk about you and your children's future prospects immediately after the demise since your family and relatives come to visit you and are concerned. Once this opportunity is lost, it becomes difficult to assemble the relatives and broach the subject with objectivity. Time lost is opportunity lost. With the passage of time, even your parents come to terms with what has happened and leave you and your kids to the mercy of your in-laws and destiny. The real concern about how you are going to chalk out a secure future for yourself and your kids goes with time.

Don't sign any document:
People stoop to any number of tricks or lies to usurp your legal share of property and earnings under such circumstances. Don't give in to any threat or pressure. Just keep one thing in mind as long as you resist the pressure, your kids' future is secure. Don't sign any paper or document even if you are told it's very urgent and important.

Get in touch with a lawyer:
Try to find out a decent and trustworthy lawyer through a friend or relative. Hire his services for assessing your deceased husband's estate and financial status. Avoid the family lawyer as he will try to favour your in-laws' intentions. After understanding everything, you can buy some time and decide on a course of action. Any action in haste can only be regretted for the rest of your life. Be patient while making decisions that can make or mar your future.

Smart investments to generate regular income:
A regular source of income is a requisite for your kids, upbringing. Various options are available and a professional can help you out with it. But don't venture into speculative investments as it can endanger the principal amount. Also, never lend money to friends or relatives even when they "assure" a lucrative rate of interest. Go for a conventional investment that doesn't promise big returns but your money will be safe.

Buy policies for your children:
You can buy some risk-covering policies for your children. They can prove to be a big help at the time of their education and marriage. You can choose one that will suit you. Money-back policies prove to be quite handy.

Dispose of the disputed or co-owned property:
It is always wise to dispose of any property owned by your late husband that was either disputed or co-owned by other relatives of your husband. You can offer your share to the co-owners at a price that they find hard to turn down or to a third party who is ready to buy your share despite the dispute.

In case of rental property, if it is clear that evacuation is not possible, try to dispose of it. The money thus generated can be invested in some other form to increase it, but keeping disputed properties can only add to your worries. Any civil litigation can go on for decades and, when you have the responsibility of bringing up your kids, you must stay well clear of any kind of legal messes. It not only drains one emotionally and physically but financially also. -Arvind786

Locus of Control: Who Controls Your Life

Do you believe in fate? In chance? Or are you one of those people who takes full charge of how your life turns out?

Well, this article explores the concept of "locus of control." In psychology, this term refers to how you explain the good and the bad things in your life. This concept explains why some people are fanatics of destiny and why others are strong advocates of taking in control.

External versus Internal Locus of Control

Your "locus" can either be internal or external. If you have an external locus of control, you believe that fate, chance, or a higher being is the one responsible in running your life. You have no immediate control over the things that are happening to you. Instead, you simply let your external sphere influence the outcome of your life.

People with external locus of control exhibit less responsibility over their lives. They would always say: if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

On the contrary, those with an internal locus of control believe that they themselves are the captains of their ship. They believe that whatever happens to them is a result of the choices they make, and the things that they do. More importantly, people with an internal locus of control believe that no one else is responsible for their lives. As a result, they have better control of their behavior and consequently, they attempt to influence others'.

At the extremes, people with internal locus of control can be labelled as "control freaks" or perfectionists. On the other hand, those with external locus of control can be likened to the devil-may-care and sometimes thoughtless individuals.

Which is Better?

Now the question is: which is better? Which is the ideal? Is it fair to think of people with external locus of control are mindless and irresponsible individuals? Is it fair to say that everyone should strive to have an internal locus of control?

Well, there's really no definite answer to this, except that a balance between the two loci (plural of locus) should be present. For the most part, you must be in control of your life. You must do the things that you want to do. If you want to be successful in your career, you must see to it that you do well in your current job. If you want to find the man - or woman - of your dreams, you must make yourself accessible and available. Go to places where you can find decent partners. Don't just stay at home and pray that your prince charming will be magically directed to your path.

On the other hand, acknowledge as well that some things are simply out of your control. Know that sometimes, fate waves her hand, and whatever you do, you can't get away from it. Acknowledge that there's a higher being - someone who is larger than you. Acknowledge that sometimes, it's okay to lose control a bit, and let fate do its part.

Therefore, the key to living a good and planned life is balance. Take charge of the things that you can control and let go of those that you can't. By doing so, you are well way at ease directing your life - without closing your doors on a few surprises along the way. -Bradlley Mckoy

10 Things You Should Never Do to Your Skin

Your skin is your protector that meets and greets your external world. As your body’s largest organ, the skin serves as a waterproof covering that helps keep out foreign invaders and protects against temperature changes and sunlight. Your skin is tough and it can take a lot of punishment, but some things can make it look bad and weaken it. The following are ten actions that are harmful to your skin.

1. Picking, Popping, or Squeezing

REMEMBER: Popping zits doesn’t make things better; in fact, it often makes things worse. I realize that it’s tempting to think that squeezing them will help them heal more quickly — especially the swollen, red goobers filled with stuff! But scrunching these guys only pushes the inflamed gunk deeper and wider into the skin and that’s what most often results in scars. So, lay off the lumps! Having said all that, I realize that it’s hard to resist a squeeze or two here and there, but only do so when dealing with blackheads and whiteheads.

TIP: If you’re a do-it-yourselfer or plan to become a dermatologist or a cosmetologist, you can buy your own comedo extractor at a medical supply company. Better yet, see a dermatologist or go for a facial to have your blackheads and whiteheads extracted professionally.

2. Pre-tanning at a Salon

Pre-tanning at a tanning salon to get ready for the intense sun at the beach isn’t the great idea that it’s been cut out to be. In fact, whether you acquire a tan quickly or slowly, you still damage your skin. Just like the sun, artificial tanning equipment beds and sun lamps emit UV rays that can cause burns, premature aging, and skin cancers, especially if you’re a higher risk, fair-skinned person who produces less melanin.

3. Smoking

You’ve heard about the risks of smoking (like lung cancer, heart disease, and emphysema). But have you ever noticed that the skin of elderly smokers tends to have a yellowish coloration? Next to sun exposure, smoking is the highest factor in wrinkling. In other words, smoking makes you look older!

TECHNICAL STUFF: The nicotine in cigarette smoke also causes small blood vessels and capillaries of the skin to contract. This diminishing circulation deprives the skin of much essential oxygen it needs to create and maintain healthy skin cells.

There’s no controversy about this one — don’t smoke!

4. Taking Too Much Vitamin A

You may have heard that vitamin A helps cure acne. What you may not know is that if you take too much of it, vitamin A can accumulate in your liver to dangerous levels and cause serious health problems. It’s best to get your vitamin A in moderation, from whole foods. Good sources include leafy greens (like spinach and watercress) and orange veggies (like sweet potatoes, pumpkin, and carrots).

There are safer derivatives of vitamin A to treat your acne — topical retinoids and oral Accutane — that your healthcare provider can prescribe.

5. Traveling the Perilous Peel and Dermabrasion Route

If your complexion is dark, you may run the risk of having streaking, uneven pigmentation after chemical peel or dermabrasion procedures. Moreover, if you scar easily or tend to form keloids, you should probably consider these procedures as being potentially too risky.

TIP: Get a second or third opinion from practitioners experienced in these procedures on patients with your type of skin before embarking on something you might regret.

6. Treating Rosacea with Over-the-Counter Medications

Don’t try to combat your rosacea alone. You should discuss your rosacea skin-care with a dermatologist. People with rosacea tend to have red, inflamed, sensitive skin.

TIP: Consult with a dermatologist before experimenting with products.

7. Applying Topical Steroids to Your Face

Okay, if you have a mild rash or itch, you can go to your local store and buy the over-the-counter, low-strength cortisone cream or ointment to treat the symptoms for a few days or so. However, don’t make it a regular habit! Topical steroids can cause acne and potentially thin your skin after continuous use.

WARNING: You definitely should not use a potent prescription-strength topical steroid on your face unless instructed by your doctor or dermatologist. Steroid-induced rosacea and skin thinning are much more likely to occur with the high potency creams.

8. Shaving with Four-In-One Razor Blades

If you have acne, shaving bumps, or sensitive skin, four-in-one razors–those that guarantee the closest shave– aren’t for you. Ignore the ongoing battle between razor companies to see who can stick the most blades on a single disposable razor head. Besides costing an arm and a leg, incredibly sharp blades will wind up shaving closer than what is necessary and really irritate your skin!

TIP: Easy does it. Let your hairs grow a little and when you do shave use a single blade safety razor such as the Aveeno PFB Bump Fighter Razor.


9. Using Mystery Products

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably isn’t true.

Exercise caution — some of these drugs may have fraudulent claims, and others may even hurt you. Herbs can be as toxic and dangerous as prescription drugs. Look out for and avoid:

• “Secret” formulas (real scientists share what they know)
• Amazing breakthroughs or miracle cures (real breakthroughs don’t happen every day, and when they do, real scientists don’t call them “amazing” or “miracles”)
• Guaranteed cures

Let your healthcare provider or dermatologist know about any of these products you may be taking or are considering taking.

WARNING: There have been reports of severe toxic reactions, so you should be very cautious before trying anything that is untested.

10) Looking in the Mirror too Much

If you’re undergoing treatment for your acne, you should know that it won’t improve overnight and by examining it continuously, you just magnify any flaws — real or imagined. Finding those flaws can cause stress to both you and your face.

TIP: When you apply makeup, use a “soft focus” with your eyes and don’t take magnified close-up looks at your zits or comedones. You’ll be amazed at how quickly your skin will improve if you ignore it for a few days at a time while your medications have a chance to work! -Dr. Herbert P. Goodheart, Intent.com

Be The Centerpiece...Not The Wallflower!!!!!

Have you bloomed lately? Don’t wait until Spring to shed the comforter that keeps you asleep in the bud " quit waiting " start breaking ground. What’s the story you are waiting to be, the Super Power you have been hiding, the Seed you haven’t watered, the calls you failed to make, the person you forgot to tell them you love them. What is the next step you haven’t taken? Is there a Wild Flower in you waiting to Blossom.
"Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen." Michael Jordan.
Keeping a positive attitude is not always easy, especially when it seems that no one around you has a positive attitude. Have you ever listened to the people standing next to you in the check out line at the grocery store, the bank, a concert, football games, and parking lots? They are all complaining about something (the cost, line too slow, no parking spots, kids, spouse, economy, gas). They all know what they don’t want, but they are never sure what they do want.
How are you supposed to keep a smile on your face and a positive attitude when all the negative talk is happening around 24/7?
One of the keys to keeping a positive attitude is always remember your WHY. WHY did you start doing what you are doing, your job, marriage or business? If the reason you are doing these is strong, then you will be able to stay positive, because you know what you want the end to look like.
We are powerful. We are powerful, because our thoughts are powerful. Our thoughts are everything we see, hear, taste, touch and smell. Everything we do or ever will do " and thoughts manifest everything we have or will have on this plane of existence. Our thoughts create all of our results, positive, negative or boring.
If you do not know why you are doing something maybe you are doing it because your parents told to"they wanted you to become a doctor, dentist or work the family business. If you no longer have a passion to complete it, what do you do at that point?
I think the first thing you should ask yourself is " "Am I in a slump?" or "Am I in down time?" or "Have I lost my passion?" or "Did I never really find the passion for what I felt was my passion?" Maybe it was some one else’s passion or dream.
It maybe time for you to realize you really do not have a real passion to continue with for the rest of your life. It is time to set aside time for you to re-evaluate what your dreams are. Remember you have only one life to live, so what’s the point of living it doing things you hate or dislike.
You will be amazed how negative thoughts and attitudes can change into positive attitudes if you become clear on your "WHY".
Right at the present time I am enjoying a beautiful clear day in Williamsburg, VA. Five months ago I sold my house and started living my WHY. I plan to purchase an RV and travel and see the world. My income opportunity allows me to follow my dream. I am able to earn money anywhere, anytime, anyplace. I am helping people change their life styles by making their annual income their monthly income. -Arvind786

Confidence in Public Speaking

Lance Miller, a world champion of public speaking, has a very simple way of looking at speaking when delivering a speech or presentation.

He says that the most important thing in public speaking is your energy and enthusiasm, in other words your delivery, and that this represents 50% of the impact of your speech.

He then says that another 30% of the impact is created by the key message of your talk.

This leaves only 20% for the structure and the writing.

However, it is this last and least impact part of public speaking that most people spend all their time agonizing over, especially someone who feels nervous and lacks confidence.

However, if you know what it is that you are to deliver, then this slight nervousness can be a great source of strength adding to that high impact energy and enthusiasm.

Preparation beforehand is an important part of public speaking but being overly concerned with getting the words exactly ‘right’ leads to looking too much at notes or results in the speech being done in an over-rehearsed way.

What you need is to have something which enables you to focus on your delivery, energy, and enthusiasm.

Clearly, if it’s easy to remember what you want to say, then you will not be chasing the words and will be less nervous, be in control, and have confidence.

Knowing what you’re going to say will leave you free to concentrate on that high impact energy and enthusiasm so the question is; how can I know what to say?

The Learning Well ‘Memory Map’ technique gives you the structure of your speech in a very easy way providing you with the ability to know both your core message and your content when public speaking.

When you are delivering your talk or presentation the Map enables you to very quickly glance down and see what you want to say, the location for each part of your speech is clear on the Map and is therefore clear for when you speak.

The Map locations for what you want to say will become fixed in your mind thereby increasing your confidence and making speeches and presentations so much easier.

So, it’s clear. The Learning Well Memory Map targets all public speaking impact points as set out by World Speaking Champion Lance Miller:

Tony Buzan’s Mind Mapping is great for brain storming and I have to say that when it comes to public speaking and knowing what I want to say and building confidence then Memory Mapping is the thing to go for.

By using Memory Maps your public speaking confidence will grow and grow. -Alan Mcmahon

The Power of Effective Listening

Do people really listen to one another any more?

Being an effective listener can be one of the most powerful life skills you can have in life. I have found Empathic Listening an invaluable tool in my coaching practice. Not only do my clients feel heard and validated but they also find that when they apply this skill in their every day life, it can help them enormously. It is a powerful asset in their business dealings as well as in their close relationships. In modern day society, most of us have forgotten the art of how to really tune in and listen to each other. We are caught up in our world of cell phones and blackberries while trying to hold a conversation with one another. Our minds are often preoccupied and the conversation literally goes in one ear and out the other. Wouldn't it be nice to have a conversation with someone where you not only have their undivided attention but also sense that they are really interested in what you are saying?

The reason Empathic Listening is such an incredibly powerful communication skill is that it lets the other person know you are present and interested in what they are saying. According to the dictionary, empathy is a way of "experiencing as one's own of the feelings of another." When using this skill in communicating with another, you are putting aside your own values, needs and judgments and focusing on the essence of what the other person is thinking, feeling and needing .You acknowledge this person's words by looking them in the eye, nodding your head and responding to them in a way that lets them know you are "there" with them. Your focus stays on the speaker until the person is complete in what they are sharing. An example of this would be: If the speaker is telling you about how they just paid off their credit card debt, your empathic response would be something to the effect of, "That must be a huge relief!" or "You must feel so good!" By acknowledging them in this way, the person feels heard. So many times, the speaker will make a statement and the listener will turn the subject matter back to themselves. Here is an example of NOT being an empathic listener: The speaker says, "I just lost 25 pounds. This is the first time in my life I've been able to lose the weight and keep it off." The non-empathic listener would reply by saying, " I remember the first time I lost a lot of weight. I was so happy until the pounds starting creeping back on, etc, etc." This listener has completely ignored the speakers "win" and emphasized that they are more concerned with themselves. Empathic listening can be a wonderful tool to increase the intimacy in a relationship. When the focus stays on the speaker, both people share a more meaningful exchange.

Try the following exercise with a partner. Take turns sharing about a topic that is important to you (i.e. a problem you are having trouble solving, something exciting happening in your life that you want to share, etc.) The person who is doing the "empathic" listening, should really tune in and pay attention to what the speaker is saying. Keep eye contact, make comments like, "I hear you" or "I understand what you are saying." You don't have to try and solve the person's problem, you just need to let them know that they are being heard. Reverse roles and do the same exercise again. Experience the bond you feel with the other person when you listen in this way.

Empathic listening is about the "quality" of your listening to another person. When a person feels like they've really been heard and understood, they feel validated and cared for. By embracing the skill of listening from your heart instead of your head, you will find your relationships gaining a deeper quality and meaning to them. -Jana Hollingsworth

To book a Mediumship Reading or an Intuitive Coaching session, contact Jana Hollingsworth at janaroseh@yahoo.com. Jana is a Life Coach, Medium and Human Design Analyst www.janahollingsworth.com

The Importance of Women's Friendships

The special bond found in female friendships has proven to have tremendous benefits, psychologically, physically, and spiritually. Now is the perfect time to reinforce and celebrate those relationships. Sunday, September 19th is the 10th National Women's Friendship Day. This celebration has been endorsed by the governors of thirty-four states, and has become so popular that now the entire month of September has been declared the National Women's Friendship Month!

Why are women's friendships so important that they warrant national recognition? In recent years, research has shown that friendships between women have a wide range of health benefits that have widespread socio-economic repercussions. Through their friendships women build nurturing, emotionally-fulfilling bonds that serve as highly effective support systems. Within these relationships, women gain self esteem and validation. They find support in times of trouble and safe avenues for expressing their feelings and thoughts. A circle of women creates a sacred space that allows each to be more deeply present and proactive in their lives. In general, women with close female friends experience greater happiness and fulfillment.

These emotional benefits have direct physiological effects. A landmark UCLA study found that in times of stress, when men normally respond with a "fight or flight" reflex, women have an additional choice in their behavioral repertoire, to "tend and befriend." They pull together to support and nurture one another. This behavior releases extra oxytocin, a chemical that counters stress and produces a calming effect. Women connecting with women can actually assist in lowering blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol. A Harvard Medical School Nurse's Health Study further shows that because stress also wreaks havoc on blood glucose levels, healing, bone density and the aging process, women's friendships can help counteract all these detrimental effects of stress as well. Conversely, researchers also concluded that NOT having close friends is as detrimental to your health as smoking or carrying extra weight.

Other studies suggest that an older woman's risk of dying from heart disease may be linked to the number of family and social relationships she has. In one study among 503 women with symptoms of coronary artery disease, those with few personal contacts were more than twice as likely to die over the next two to four years as women with more social ties. When the researchers also looked at how women coped with widowhood, they found that those who had a close confidante were more likely to survive the experience without suffering new and lasting physical ailments or permanent loss of vitality. Finally, science is confirming what we knew all along! Our girlfriends are essential to our well being, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. So, take the time during this National Women's Friendship Month to acknowledge and enhance all your wonderful friendships. There are all sorts of ways to celebrate. You can reconnect with a friend over lunch or plan a girl's night out or even a weekend getaway. You can take part in a women's health fair, or a seminar on an issue important to women, or organize a clothing drive for needy women. You can expand your circle of women friends by going on a women's retreat or join a women's group like The Transitions Network which is a national organization for women over fifty. Look in you local papers to see what special activities are going on to commemorate this month. Commit to doing something to strengthen these important relationships. Embrace your sisterhood! -Copyright (c) 2009 Karin Marcus

Creative Problem Solving

How many times have you found yourself saying that there is "no solution" to the problem before you - it's a dead end and leads nowhere? You feel that there is no light at the end of the tunnel and that the problem just cannot be solved? There are no solutions that you are aware of.

Are there times that you feel you have exhausted all possible options and feel the mountain before you is still as large, unconquerable and impregnable as before? When you find yourself faced with such problems, it may feel as though you are hammering against a steel mountain. The stress and anxiety of having to solve such a problem can be overwhelming.

But be of "good cheer" for there maybe some hope yet!

Learning some "creative problem solving" techniques you will be able to view your problem from a different perspective. And that perspective may just be the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel that leads to possible solutions.

To begin with, in the respect of "creative problem solving" you MUST be open minded to the fact that there may be more than one solution to the problem, you must also be open to the fact that there may be solutions to problems that you thought were unsolvable.

Now, with this optimistic mindset, we can try to be a little bit more creative in solving our problems.

1) One of the reasons that we may not able to solve the problem is that we don't really understand the problem.. Here, it is very important and an imperative to have a solid understanding of the problem and its workings in order for solving it. If you know what the problem is and how its workings, then you have a better foundation for solving the problem.

Try to make a simple statement of what the problem is. Try to understand its core components, participating entities and their relationship toward each other. Make a note of possible losses and gains from the problem.

2) Make a note of the constraints and assumptions you have possible created in your mind. Sometimes these assumptions obstruct our view of possible solutions. You will need to identify assumptions that are valid and those which need to be addressed.

3) Try to solve the problem in parts. Solve it by going from a general rule to more detailed parts of the problem. This is sometimes called the "top-down" approach. Write down questions and then come up with a one sentence solution for each of them. The solution should be a general statement of what will solve the problem. From this point you can develop the solution little by little as well as increase its complexity.

4) Critical thinking is important in these situations, but it is important that you also keep a creative and analytical voice at the back of your mind. When someone comes up with a possible solution, try to think of how you could make it work, be creative. And at the same time look for possible flaws in the solutions.

5) Remember that there may be more than one solution being developed at one time. Try to keep track of all possible solutions and their developments. Keep in mind, that there may be more than one solution to the problem.

6) The old adage "two heads are better than one" Always keep an open mind for new ideas, you can always benefit from ideas that others give, especially if that person has experience solving problems similar to yours.

Don't try and be a "lone-wolf" or a solo hero to solve the problem. If at all possible collective thought on the subject, will always be the better route.

7) Be patient, because as long as you persevere, there is always a chance that a solution will present itself.

Creative thinking in all facets of life whether it be in designing a new product or in this case, problem solving will always give you clarity and direction in bringing about the desired action.

Creative thinking exercises can also help you be a more creative problem solver.

There are may exercise available on the Internet just Google Creative thinking exercises.

One example is to write down on a piece of paper any word that comes to your mind. Now look at the word for a few moments and then write down the first two words that come to your mind. This can go on until you can build a tree of related words. This exercise helps you build analogical skills, as well as strengthen your creative processes.

So, next time you come across a problem you think you cannot solve, think again. The solution may even be staring you in the face. All it takes is a little creative thinking, some planning and a lot of hard work. -MarkCsabai

Learn How to Relieve Arthritis and Joint Pain with Apple Cider Vinegar

We are a society deeply familiar with joint pain. Nearly 50 million adults in the United States have been diagnosed with arthritis or a similar rheumatic condition, and countless others experience general joint pain on a regular basis. Conventional medicine offers minimal relief for joint pain, but natural wisdom teaches us that there is hope beyond pharmaceutical drugs. Lifestyle changes and dietary habits can have a profound effect on joint pain. Simple remedies like a daily regimen of apple cider vinegar can also work to naturally ease pain in the joints.

The Science Behind the Folk Remedy

With a history rooted in folk medicine, apple cider vinegar is brushed aside by many members of the medical field. Naturopathic doctors and other natural health enthusiasts, however, sing nothing but praises when it comes to this traditional remedy. Apple cider vinegar offers the body a variety of benefits, many of which work together to help relieve joint pain.

Apple cider vinegar is rich in minerals like magnesium, phosphorus, calcium and potassium. Mineral deficiency can worsen joint pain, so a diet rich in essential minerals is an important step to relieving the pain of arthritis. The potassium in cider vinegar may be especially beneficial because it works to prevent calcium build-up in the joints, which is linked to joint stiffness.

Raw, unprocessed apple cider vinegar is also rich in beneficial enzymes and acids that improve digestive health. Taking a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar before a meal will encourage proper digestion of food and absorption of nutrients. This is vitally important for those with arthritis, a condition which is connected to poor digestion that can lead to deficiencies in minerals and other nutrients. These nutrients are crucial for joint health, so it is imperative that the body be capable of absorbing and using them. With apple cider vinegar, this is made possible even if you have arthritis.

Experts suggest that joint pain and arthritis may be linked to toxins accumulating in the joints, since metabolic waste is often stored in connective tissues. At the same time, people with joint pain tend to shun activities that might trigger more pain, and the lack of movement may cause toxins to build-up even more. The pectin in apple cider vinegar helps absorb toxins and move them out of the system, while the acids in cider vinegar work to purify and detoxify the entire body.

How to Use Apple Cider to Relieve Joint Pain

All of the benefits of apple cider vinegar can only be achieved with vinegar that is organic, raw, unfiltered and unprocessed. Your apple cider vinegar should be ruddy-colored with a noticeable amount of residue floating around in the bottle. This is the "mother," the natural accumulation of beneficial enzymes and nutrients. Apple cider vinegar in any other form, including pills, is inferior and much less effective.

The simplest way to incorporate apple cider vinegar into your diet is to mix 1-3 teaspoons in eight ounces of water three times per day, preferably just before meals. You can sweeten the drink with a small amount of honey or stevia if you like.

For those who suffer from joint pain, apple cider vinegar can also be used topically to relieve pain. You can make a relaxing foot or hand soak using one cup of apple cider vinegar with six cups of warm water. Or you can mix two tablespoons of apple cider vinegar with one tablespoon of coconut or olive oil for a soothing ointment to rub directly on your joints. -naturalnews

For More Information:

• Rubin, Jordan and Brasco, Joseph. (2007) The Great Physician's Rx for Arthritis. Published by Thomas Nelson.

• Martin, Raquel and Romano, Karen J. (2000) Preventing and Reversing Arthritis Naturally. Published by Inner Traditions International.

• Mindell, Earl. (2002) Dr. Earl Mindell's Amazing Apple Cider Vinegar. Published by the McGraw-Hill Companies.

Breast Cancer Linked to Obesity in Women of All Ages, Leptin Probable Culprit

The link between breast cancer and obesity has strengthened with two new studies showing that body mass index is correlated with the disease. These finding apply to women of all ages with breast cancer, not just those who are postmenopausal. Lipid profile and estradiol levels correlating with high body mass index were shown as additional determinative factors.

Scientists at Geneva University in Switzerland conducted a population-based study in which they evaluated the impact of obesity on presentation, diagnosis and treatment of breast cancer. Among all women diagnosed with invasive breast cancer in Geneva between 2003 and 2005, they identified those with available information on body mass index and categorized them into groups they identified as normal/underweight (BMI <25kg/m),>/=-30kg/m), and obese (BMI >30kg/m).

They compared tumor, diagnosis and treatment characteristics between the groups. They found that obese women presented significantly more often with stage III and stage IV disease, with an odds ratio of 1.8. This means they were 180% more likely to have later stage breast cancer than those women in the normal/underweight group. Women in the obese group were 240% more likely to have tumors that were equal to or greater in size than 1 centimeter compared to the women in the normal/underweight group. They were also a whopping 510% more likely to have positive lymph nodes suggesting their cancers may have spread to other parts of their bodies.

Another team of scientists carried out a comparative study to investigate the effect of lipid profile, estradiol and obesity on the risk of a woman developing breast cancer. Assessment of 200 women for lipid profile, estradiol level and BMI was completed on 100 breast care patients (43 pre and 57 postmenopausal) and 100 controls (45 pre and 55 postmenopausal). Their ages ranged from 25 to 80 years.

They found a significant increase in BMI, total cholesterol, triglycerides, and low density lipoprotein (LDL cholesterol) in the breast cancer patients compared to the controls. With the exception of estradiol that decreased, the lipid profile generally increased with age in both patients and controls, with the patients having a much higher value than the corresponding controls. There was also a significant positive correlation between BMI and total cholesterol, and between BMI and LDL cholesterol. BMI, total cholesterol and triglycerides were increased in both pre-menopausal and post menopausal phases with HDL cholesterol remaining unchanged.

Not only does obesity clearly increase breast cancer risk, other research has shown it shortens the time between return of the disease and lowers overall survival rates. In 2007, Italian researchers went a long way toward explaining why. They presented evidence that a hormone found in fat cells called leptin significantly influences breast cancer development and progression in mice.

Leptin, a hormone derived from fat cells, is best known for its efforts to send messages to the body that its time to stop eating. This process may go awry in many people with obesity. Dr. Sebastiano Ando, lead researcher, has noted that leptin is also involved in many other processes in the breast, from reproduction and lactation to cell differentiation and proliferation. Leptin is activated by signals from the leptin receptor, and it is this partnership gone wrong that has previously been shown to be involved in the development of breast cancer. Leptin has been found in 86.4% of primary breast tumors.

Previous studies in Dr. Ando's laboratory found that leptin played a significant role in promoting breast cancer in obese women by increasing the amount of estradiol in breast tissue. In their 2007 study, the researchers found that leptin up-regulates or increases the production of E-cadherin, an intercellular adhesion molecule generally viewed as a tumor suppressor.

The researchers grafted human breast cancer tissue in "nude" mice (genetically bred to be unable to reject tumors and used frequently in cancer research) and also in a three dimensional tissue culture closely mimicking biological features of tumors.

Their results were the same in both media. Combined exposure to leptin and estradiol increased tumor size as much as 100%. These changes correlated with an increase in E-cadherin. Dr. Ando and his team concluded that the tumor suppressor E-cadherin may serve as a tumor enhancer when exposed to leptin and estradiol. It may be that the ability of E-cadherin to help cells aggregate enhances the transformation of normal cells to cancerous ones, thereby stimulating the growth of a tumor mass. This theory gained additional weight when the researchers used an E-cadherin antibody or a calcium-chelating agent to block E-cadherin function in the presence of estradiol. The enhanced cell growth stopped.

When a leptin inhibitor is given to mice, it reduces the expression of vascular endothelial growth factor and its receptor, and growth of breast cancer cells. Researchers at Morehouse School of Medicine used a leptin antagonist to evaluate whether the inhibition of leptin signaling has a differential impact on the expression of molecules leading to angiogenesis (creation of blood supply for tumors) and on cell proliferation and growth of human estrogen receptor-positive (ER+) and estrogen receptor-negative (ER-) xenografts hosted by immuno-deficient mice.

They found that the leptin antagonist reduced the growth of the ER+ human breast cancer cells by more than 40 fold, or a mind-bending 4000%, while the growth of ER- human breast cancer cell growth was reduced by 2 fold, or 200%. Expression of pro-angiogenic and pro-proliferative molecules were reduced to a greater degree in the ER+ cells than in those that were ER-. The results suggest that leptin signaling plays an important role in the growth of both ER+ and ER- negative breast cancer that is associated with the leptin regulation of molecules controlling tumor blood supply and proliferation rate. The researchers endorsed the use of leptin signaling inhibition as a treatment for breast cancer.

Normalized leptin functioning may produce happy breasts

All this research implies that the regulation and function of leptin must be restored in anyone wanting to be protected from breast cancer or its return. Health guru Byron Richards, one of the first nutritionists to recognize the importance of leptin, describes it as the single most important hormone for body weight control. Leptin regulates thyroid hormone, insulin, growth hormone, and adrenal hormones. When leptin is dysfunctional, all the other hormones regulating metabolic processes become dysfunctional too. He sees an understanding of leptin as basic for anyone trying to get and keep optimal metabolic function.

Leptin is made in white adipose tissue, commonly known as stored fat. Its release is stimulated by consuming a meal. Leptin flows through blood vessels to the brain where it delivers the message that it is time to stop eating. If people consistently overeat they become leptin resistant, a condition in which leptin becomes unable to deliver its message to the brain. This condition develops into a vicious circle in which overeating continues and the brain becomes even more resistant to the leptin message. This is about the time true obesity sets in.

To regain a healthy metabolism and keep eating under control, proper leptin function must be normalized. This requires a drastic reduction in consumption of processed carbohydrates and the embracing of a diet comprised of whole foods. This does not have to be a grueling dietary upheaval that produces feelings of deprivation and lack of satisfaction. Abandoning processed carbohydrates can be as simple as making a switch from pretzels to full fat potato chips. It can mean getting satisfaction from a chocolate bar with nuts rather than from a piece of cake. The key is the change from a diet in which processed carbohydrates play a large part, to a diet in which they play almost no part.

Getting a full nine hours of sleep in a fully darkened room is the also necessary for restoring leptin function. This means going to the bathroom in the dark, no TV, and no trips to the refrigerator unless you have removed the inside light. Daily exercise is also important, and will become desirable as energy levels improve along with leptin. Stress reduction is the fourth component in a leptin normalizing program.

Richard's book The Leptin Diet gives the low-down on how to get leptin working for you instead of against you. For those trying to kick the sugar habit as part of ousting processed carbohydrates from the diet, he suggests using supplements of the bitter herbs Gymnema sylvestre, and Inula racemosa. He calls these herbs "sugar busters". They help reduce the desire for sweet tasting foods and help bring the taste system back to natural balance. -naturalnews

For additional information:

• Deglise C et al, Impact of obesity on diagnosis and treatment of breast cancer. Breast Cancer Research and Treatment, July 14.

• Owiredu WK et al, Serum lipid profile of breast cancer patients. Pak Journal of Biological Science, February.

• Obesity-breast Cancer Link May Be Due To Fat Tissue-derived Hormone Leptin. Federation of American Societies for Experimental Biologu, May 2, 2007.

• http://www.sciencedaily.com/release...

• Rene Gonzalez R et al, Leptin-signaling inhibition results in efficient anti-tumor activity in estrogen receptor positive or negative breast cancer. Breast Cancer Research, June 16.

How to Get Your Own Way

Are you an Action Man (or an Action Person, I suppose, to be politically correct!)? Because most of us are Reaction Men - and Reaction Women!! The normal mind is a highly-tuned, highly effective reactive mechanism. Evolutionary psychology proposes that we automatically react and behave to ordinary everyday events because we need to retain our key faculty of attention for the lion jumping out of the bushes to eat us! As if that was going to happen today!

The big problem with the manner in which our lives are driven by reactive behaviour is that, more often and not, that behaviour sets off an ongoing chain of events (a chain reaction if you will) that takes us further away from the kind of effortless happiness and success for which we all long. In other words, rather than getting your own way in life, you lose your way. Here's how to ensure that you get what you want out of life, on your terms - because there is a wrong way to go about it (the normal way) and then, there's The Way.

The Way (to get what you want out of life - in all its various facets, work, rest, play and pleasure) does not involve any form of habitual behaviour that saps your energy or distracts you from the important things you should be doing. Let's take a simple example. There is no merit whatsoever in reading the inside pages of most daily newspapers that cover all the sordid details of domestic violence, sexual violence, robbery (the list is quite a long one) - because you're simply wasting your time and energy when it could be far better spent.

The Way does not involve reactive behaviour at all. Generally speaking, when we react to something we make an already bad situation worse. Another couple of simple examples. Who amongst us has teenage children that, when screamed at (a reactive process), behave better? How many people spend their working lives "fire-fighting" when their energies would be better directed to preventing the fire in the first place? Indeed, how many people waste their time trying to put out fires that generally fizzle out on their own?

The Way does not involve entertaining or being entertained by useless thoughts. These thoughts come in all shapes and sizes - from wishing you were on the golf course (when you're in a client meeting) to worry, frustration, self-doubt and anxiety.

The Way does involve: Meditation, A Clear and Focused Mind and Right Action. Each follows the other.

Meditation, like useless thought, comes in all shapes and sizes - from guided meditation to TM, from primordial sound meditation to unguided Vipassana. Indeed, I would contend that running or working out are forms of meditation if the mind is totally focused on the physical exercise involved. In fact, I believe that one of the most effective (but also difficult) forms of meditation is to simply sit and do nothing. The point is that "meditation" covers a multitude of all good things for the mind. Whatever form of meditation one cares to pursue, it calms the mind, diffuses the effects of useless thought and, most importantly, disciplines the mind for the rough and tumble of what follows - the normal everyday life.

Meditation's discipline enables the practitioner develop a clarity and presence of mind that are simply not otherwise possible. This clarity and presence enables us to stop reacting and start acting - start, for perhaps the first time in our lives, to take real action, right action. With a clear and present mind, one immediately appreciates the difference between a constructive or creative thought, on the one hand, and the ravings of the normal mind, on the other. That same clarity and presence of mind enables us distinguish between time and energy wasters (both tasks and people) and those things to which we must devote our energies to be effective and efficient at what we are doing - at any particular moment in time.

Indeed, that's what presence is - being fully (or more fully than the normal person who, research tells us, is only 1% present) present in the here and now, fully involved, fully engrossed in the task in hand - whatever the task in hand might be. This presence in the here and now doesn't just enable us spot the important from the urgent or the vital from the superfluous - it enables us do the important and vital to the very best of our ability. That is what right action is - and there's a world of difference between right action and reaction.

But even more than that, clarity, presence and right action lead us to a place where out abnormally high input of energy elicits a response from those around us (people positively respond to people with presence) and from the universe at large (quantum physics proves that this is very far removed from wishful thinking or fanciful hocus-pocus!) In other words, our clarity, presence and right action lead us in the direction of all the things, events and people we need to bring us towards the goals that our hearts desire. Now, that's The Way! -Copyright (c) 2009 Willie Horton

The Power of Letting Go

In today’s crazy world, many of us are being forced to let go of the things in our lives that provide us with comfort and stability. When people lose their jobs due to company layoffs, they need to let go of their sense of security. When they can no longer pay their mortgages, they need to let go of the comfort and safety their homes provide. It can be overwhelming and extremely stressful. However, no matter what the circumstances, we must learn to go on. We need to let go of the past and find a way to move forward in our lives; no matter how difficult the circumstances may seem. Of course there is always a transition period when we have to change our lives in such a drastic way. It’s normal to question why certain things happen to us and take some time to reflect about the life we have been living up until this point.

However, instead of dwelling on the things we cannot change, I think we need to focus on the questions What now? and Where do we go from here? When we are in the process of losing things that are near and dear to us, our first instinct is that we want to cling to the past.

When people die and leave the earthly plane, they need to let go of their earthly possessions as well as their physical bodies. They, too, go through a period of transition while settling into their new surroundings. For those souls who want to cling to the life they had here on the physical plane, they become “earthbound spirits.” If you’ve ever seen the show “Ghost Whisperer,” these are the spirits who refuse to go “into the light” until whatever earthly issue they had is resolved. It’s not a good place to be for a spirit to be as it puts them in a sort of “limbo”. They know they can’t go back to their physical form and be with their loved ones, yet they don’t feel ready yet to start their new life on the other side.

When we insist on clinging to the past, we also become “earthbound spirits” keeping our lives in limbo. Knowing we can’t go back to the way things were but refusing to allow ourselves to move forward. We become stuck in our self created world.

When the rug feels like it’s being pulled out from under us, we need to learn to change our perspective on things and change our expectations. Ultimately, if we refuse to let go, we never give ourselves the chance to get to a new place where it could be even better for us! When we let go of things, it’s not that we don’t care about those things anymore, it’s just that our lives are different now and we need to re-prioritize the things that are important to us.

Sometimes, when we are forced to do things we don’t want to do, it ends up being a better situation for us. We find out that we are really stronger than we thought we were and that we’ve grown a lot by going through difficult times. When we create an environment that supports where we are right now, it’s easier to put the past in perspective.

When I was in my 20’s, I lost my dad to lung cancer. At the time, I didn’t think I would ever get over the loss. However, as I came into my skills as a Medium, I have been able to communicate with him in a different way. It’s not the same as having him here in his physical form but it’s certainly wonderful to have access to him while he’s happily living in another dimension. I needed to change my perspective of how I wanted things to be. Given the fact that having his human form here was no longer an option, I came to accept the fact that I could now have a different type of relationship with him which is still satisfying on many levels.

We will all experience hardships and loss in this lifetime. That’s just part of the human experience. However, it’s how we view these situations that can make them easier or harder for us. If you can look at the “so called” losses as openings to new beginnings, it will be easier to take the bull by the horns and create a new life path for yourself.

Remember, you don’t want to be stuck in “never never land” like an earthbound spirit. Find your inner strength , let go of the past, and open yourself up to looking at your life from a new perspective. There are endless possibilities out there that are awaiting you! -Jana Hollingsworth

Learn How Coconut Oil Can Benefit Insulin Resistance and Diabetes

The link between diabetes and sugar is so strong that it may sound strange to hear a healthy fat like coconut oil can have a profound effect on the disease. This amazing oil may in fact be the most vital key in managing the way sugar impacts your body. For diabetics and others with health problems related to high blood sugar, adding coconut oil to their diet may just be the single most important step toward finally controlling their blood sugar levels.

Doctors typically recommend that diabetics follow a diet low in fat, low in refined sugar and high in other carbohydrates. This is supposed to help manage the condition, but even whole carbohydrates can adversely affect blood sugar levels when little protein and fat is present when they are eaten. It's important to eat balanced meals that contain all food types, and it's especially important to choose high quality fats like coconut oil.

Why is coconut oil so beneficial for conditions like diabetes and insulin resistance?

The healthy fat in coconut oil plays an essential role in regulating blood sugar: it slows the digestive process to ensure a steady, even stream of energy from your food by lowering the overall glycemic index of your meal. When you include coconut oil in a meal with carbohydrates, the carbs are broken down into glucose more slowly, so blood sugar levels remain steady even after you eat.

Coconut oil consists of medium-chain fatty acids, unlike modern vegetable oils like soybean, corn, and safflower oils which are made of long-chain fatty acids. Medium-chain fatty acids are more suited for energy use rather than fat storage - and the opposite is true of long-chain fatty acids. Oils that consist mainly of long-chain fatty acids may actually decrease cell's ability to absorb blood sugar, which could cause or exacerbate insulin resistance and diabetes.

On the other hand, coconut oil can improve insulin sensitivity and glucose tolerance over time. In addition to supplying the body with steady energy, adding coconut oil to the diet has been shown to increase the body's metabolic rate. An increased metabolism can improve the function of insulin while also aiding weight loss.

This tropical oil not only has a positive effect on blood sugar and insulin, it can also improve other health conditions linked to diabetes, such as obesity and heart disease. When cells do not receive the energy they need because insulin does not function properly, it can lead to other conditions like heart disease, a leading cause of death in diabetics. Unlike sugar and long-chain fatty acids, coconut oil can be easily digested and processed for energy without the use of insulin, so the body receives the energy it needs regardless of insulin problems. Dr. Bruce Fife, author of The Miracle of Coconut Oil, even recommends that coconut oil be the only oil diabetics eat because of its outstanding benefits.

Traditional tropical societies illustrate these principles beautifully: these people consume what our culture would consider mass amounts of coconut oil, and yet there is a noticeable lack of disease - including diabetes - in these cultures. These same robust people will quickly develop modern health conditions if they switch to a modern diet filled with refined food, chemicals and polyunsaturated oils. -naturalnews

The Simple Five Steps to Success

The Decision:

The first step to becoming successful is the decision that you want to be successful. It's a place that you have to consciously get to in your life. What is success? Success is really whatever you determine that it is. It can be success with our relationship, or success at your job, or even just getting your garage cleaned out.

Develop a Burning Desire:

Once you have decided that there's something you want to be successful at, you need to develop a burning desire to be successful at it. This means that you have to determine that you're going to accomplish what it takes to be successful at this no matter what obstacles stand in your way.

Develop a Goal:

Goals are one thing that you can't live without if you ever hope to be successful at anything. Without a goal, you can't develop a a clear path to get to where you're trying to get. If the goal is really important to you, then you'll need to write it down. By taking the action of writing it down, you fire up different parts of the brain, that should start bringing it into reality.

A Plan:

Once you have set a goal for yourself, begin working backward from there. Assess what your assets are, and then think about how you can have your assets benefit you, and how you can use those to implement your plan.

Perseverance:

So now to the last step to being successful. All of these other steps that have been taken should lead up to having the perseverance to follow through with your plan. This perseverance will come from the burning desire that was developed earlier. Then with a particular goal in mind, and having developed a plan to get there, you're certain to achieve the success that you seek. -Justin Bott

How Do You Know If Someone is Lying to You - Telltale Signs of a Liar

Exactly how do you know if someone is lying to you? That's a question we all feel a need to ask at some point. It's frustrating when you believe someone you care about is being dishonest with you. It's even more disappointing when you tell them you think they are lying and they brush it off. Short of hooking them up to a lie detector machine, is there a way to tell if they're being untruthful with you? There actually is. There are a few distinct body language signs of a liar that can help you determine whether or not someone is being honest with you.

One of the telltale signs of a liar that most people aren't aware of is very subtle, but also very telling. Liars have a tendency to want to cover up their lies but figuratively and literally. When a person is lying to you watch their hands. If they bring their hands up to their face and hold one near their mouth or nose that's a signs of a liar. Subconsciously they are trying to cover up their lie and to do so they attempt to conceal their mouth in some way. Most liars aren't even aware that they are doing this at all. Watch for it next time you question the person you believe is lying to you.

Another of the body language signs of a liar is more obvious. It's difficult for most liars to maintain eye contact for any period of time. If the person you believe is lying to you looks to the left often when talking to you, that's not a promising sign. They are having trouble looking directly tat you because they know they are misleading you. Pay special attention to the eyes of the suspected liar. They will tell you a lot about the person. -Gillian Reynolds

How to Detect Lying in Someone You Love – Ways to Tell if They’re Being Dishonest

One of the most challenging struggles a person can face is if they suspect someone they love is not being honest with them. Whether it’s your spouse, a child or a close friend, if you feel they are being deceitful, there’s a cloud of suspicion that hangs over the relationship. If you’re in this situation now you’ve probably been wondering about how to detect lying. There are ways anyone can tell if someone they care for is being dishonest. Confirming dishonesty is actually much easier than you may realize.

Learning how to detect lying in someone starts with recognizing certain body language patterns. For instance, someone who is lying will often stand off center to the person they are deceiving. When a person is being open and honest they’ll stand or sit right in front of you. A liar will often position their legs or upper body away from you. This can be subtle and is very hard to notice if you aren’t specifically looking for it.

People who lie subconsciously want to cover their lie so they’ll often touch their face in an effort to do that. Some liars will place their hand next to their mouth, while others will rub their eyes. Whenever a person’s hand moves toward their face when they are speaking, you should question whether or not what they are saying is the truth.

In addition to covering the eyes, there’s another clue that can be found in this area of the face. When a person is being untruthful they’ll have a harder time looking directly at the person they are deceiving. Their eyes may dart around or they’ll wander to the left. Not only is this a way to avoid having to look at the person they are lying to but it also gives them time to think of what to say next. When a person is being truthful the words just flow, liars have to think before they speak. -Gillian Reynolds

No One Ever Got Fat Eating Broccoli!

Diet tips for losing weight abound. Some are good, some questionable and some are just plain crazy. At the risk of joining the ever growing list of diet tips here is probably the most important diet key both to weight loss and and excellent health.
“No one ever got fat eating broccoli.”
When you eat carbohydrates this stimulates the release of a hormone called insulin. Insulin stimulates an enzyme called lipoprotein lipase and lipoprotein lipase stimulates your body to store fat.
So a meal too high in carbohydrates can put your body in fat storage mode. But it gets worse than that.
Insulin also stimulates the production of a group of controlling hormones called type II or “bad” eicosanoids.
These bad eicosanoids are linked to nearly every chronic disease including heart disease, cancer, depression, asthma, hypothyroidism and erectile dysfunction just to name a few.
Controlling your intake of carbohydrates is crucial to control insulin and controlling insulin is crucial for fat loss and excellent health.
What's the simplest way to control insulin?
Eat low glycemic fruit and vegetables for carbohydrates.
The slower a food converts into blood glucose the less insulin is released. Low glycemic fruit and vegetables, like broccoli, convert to glucose very slowly in your body.
Fruit and vegetables are also high in the antioxidants, flavinoids, vitamins and minerals so benefical to your health.
So eat low glycemic fruit and vegetables for carbohydrates and avoid poor choices of carbohydrates like sugar filled sweets and drinks, dohnuts, biscuits and french fries.
Remember: “No one ever got fat eating broccoli. -Andrew Cavanagh (AMWA)

2 Ways to Start Burning fat Quickly

1. Start Exercising first thing in the morning.

As soon as you wake up in the morning workout for at least 30min to an hour. Studies show that working out in the morning has been shown to burn up to 3x as more fat as opposed to working out at any other time during the day. Here's Why:
During the day your body's main source of energy is the carbohydrates that you get from eating your meals. As you sleep at night for 6+ hours your body uses up all those carbohydrates as energy for various bodily functions that go on even while you sleep. When you wake up in the morning your body doesn't have any carbohydrates as energy to use and it will look to burn body fat instead for energy.
For you to take advantage of this morning fat burning opportunity you have to exercise first thing in the morning. Don't eat breakfast because if you do you'll just give your body some carbohydrates as a source of energy instead of the body fat that you want to burn for energy.
Another great thing about working out first thing in the morning is that your metabolism gets revved up after your morning workout. Morning workouts keep your metabolism elevated throughout the day. An elevated metabolism throughout the day only means that you'll burn more calories and lose more weight. If you workout at night you may still burn fat while you workout but as soon as you go to sleep your metabolism will slow down and you'll miss out on all the extra fat that you can burn during the day if you had exercised in the morning. When you sleep your metabolic rate is always at its slowest.
Other reasons why its good to exercise first thing in the morning is that you get the workout out of the way, and working out in the morning will also reduce your level of stress throughout the day.
Advanced Tip: Want to burn even more fat? Add another workout to your daily routine 4-6 hours after your morning workout. Keep your already high metabolism higher by adding a 2nd workout during the day. If you're seriously thinking about adding a 2nd workout to your daily routine then try to do your cardio workouts in the morning. Mostly fat calories are burned doing cardio at a moderate intensities. Make your 2nd workout of the day a workout with weights. Mostly carbohydrate is burned doing weight-training workouts. The muscle that you build from weight training will also help you burn fat. 1lb of Muscle burns 50 calories a day or 1lb of fat every 70 days. Not only will you be burning more calories, you'll look better whatever your weight is.

2. Eat Breakfast

Another way to keep your metabolism revved up all day long is to eat breakfast. After you workout in the morning as discussed earlier, just have breakfast and you'll give your body the perfect 1-2 combination to jump start your metabolism.
Eating breakfast in the morning is what gets your metabolism started. Don't skip breakfast and wait until mid-morning or afternoon to eat, your metabolism will run slower causing you not burn any extra fat.
Think about this way-Your metabolism is a fireplace that'll burn fat all day long for you if you operate it correctly. When you eat breakfast you are basically throwing a log onto that fireplace to get it started burning fat.
Eating breakfast will help stop those cravings you may have later on in the day and along with working out in the morning, eating breakfast will also keep you energized throughout the day and lower stress levels.
Advanced Tip: Instead of eating only 2 more meals during the day like lunch & dinner, try to eat 4-5 more small mini-meals spaced 2-3 hours apart during the day. Remember the fireplace? By eating these mini-meals you'll be throwing just the right amount of "wood" on the fireplace to keep your metabolism burning calories throughout the day. Don't shut down your metabolism by eating big lunches or dinners, keep that metabolism of yours burning fat all day long.
Morning Checklist

Workout for at least 30min after waking up in the morning
Eat a healthy breakfast
Burn fat & lose more weight during the day

Use these 2 tips to reveal that six-pack, fit into that dress for an upcoming event like a wedding or reunion, or to impress that special someone. Whatever your fitness goal is these 2 tips above will surely help you reach them. -Adrian Bryant